Ann Noler Harris

YOUR SECRET WEAPON TO SUCCESS

Ann Noler Harris

YOUR SECRET WEAPON TO SUCCESS

When Did You Stop Feeling Like Yourself?

There isn't always a dramatic moment when it happens, and you don't necessarily wake up one morning and suddenly realise that you've lost yourself. For most women, I believe it happens gradually, and life becomes busy. Our responsibilities increase, and people begin relying on us.

You become the person who gets things done. The person others turn to when they need help, and you are the one who keeps going.

And before you know it, so much of your time and energy is focused on what everyone else needs from you that you stop noticing what you need from yourself.

Then one day, you catch yourself thinking. I don't even feel like myself anymore

The Woman Everyone Thinks Has It Together

One of the things I find interesting about working with successful women is that, from the outside, there is often very little indication that anything is wrong. They have successful careers or businesses. They are intelligent, capable and independent. They may have financial security, families, beautiful homes and lives that others admire. They are often the women people describe as strong.

Yet behind closed doors, they can feel tired, uninspired, overwhelmed or strangely disconnected from themselves.

Sometimes they can't explain why, and they know that something has changed.

The things they once enjoyed don't give them the same feeling. Their work may no longer excite them, and they can find themselves going through the motions of a life, have worked incredibly hard to create, and perhaps the most confusing part is that they don't understand what happened.

It Happens Slowly

I don't believe we suddenly lose ourselves. I think we slowly move away from ourselves, and we learn to be responsible. We learn to meet expectations. We become the employee, the leader, the business owner, the wife, the mother, the daughter or the friend. We become very good at being who other people need us to be, and there is nothing wrong with any of those roles.

The problem begins when they become so consuming that we forget who we are underneath them.

When was the last time you did something simply because it brought you joy?

When was the last time you made a decision based on what you truly wanted rather than what you felt you SHOULD do?

When was the last time you stopped long enough to ask yourself How am I really feeling?

Invisible Barriers Can Keep Us There

Sometimes we know something needs to change, but we still don't change it. We tell ourselves we don't have time, or we feel guilty, or we worry about disappointing someone.

We convince ourselves that we should be grateful for what we already have or we keep going because that's what we've always done.

These can become invisible barriers.

Old beliefs. Old Patterns. Past experiences and expectations we have unconsciously accepted as truth.

They can quietly influence the decisions we make and keep us repeating patterns long after they are no longer serving us.

The difficult part is that we often can't see these barriers ourselves. We simply experience the result.

Feeling stuck. Feeling exhausted. Feeling unfulfilled or feeling as though we've somehow become disconnected from the person we used to be.

You Haven't Lost Yourself

This is something I want you to remember.

You may simply have become disconnected from yourself, and there is a difference because if you've lost something, you have to go searching for it.

But reconnection is different.

It's about becoming still enough to listen again.

Listening to your body. Your feelings. Your intuition. Your desires.

The parts of you that may have been quietly trying to get your attention for years.

I know this from my own journey.

There were times when I felt as though something wasn't quite right in my life, even though I couldn't explain what was wrong.

Looking back now, I can see that those feelings were often invitations to look deeper.

To stop. To listen, and to ask myself questions I had been too busy to ask.

Reconnection Isn't About Becoming Someone New

You don't need to reinvent yourself or throw your life away and start again, and you certainly don't need another list of things to achieve.

Sometimes the greatest transformation begins when you stop trying to become more, and give yourself permission to reconnect with who you already are ie the woman underneath the expectations, underneath the responsibilities, underneath the achievements, underneath the roles you've learned to play.

Because she is still there.

Perhaps she has simply been waiting for you to listen.

Today, instead of asking yourself what you need to achieve next, perhaps ask: When did I stop feeling like myself?

And then...

What might I need to reconnect with?

You don't need to have all the answers.

You simply need to be willing to begin listening.

Sometimes that is where the journey back to yourself begins.

From My Journal To Yours...

Every article I write is inspired by my own journey or the experiences of the incredible women I've had the privilege of working with over the past 14 years.

My hope is that these reflections help you reconnect with yourself, see your own life a little differently and remind you that lasting change is always possible.